You got to know your chicken
We all know how frantic and fast-paced this modern world can be. Who has time to keep up with all of the holidays, rituals and grisly human sacrifices in the year?
Fortunately, you don’t have to worry anymore about keeping track of it all. I’ve gathered into one PDF document all the information you need to sail through the year: which God presides over each month, the meaning of their Aztec name, and what kind of person should be sacrificed so the sun can rise tomorrow and save us from eternal darkness and the tzitzimime skeleton-demons that are waiting to devour us all. In short, this is the one calendar that you can’t do without in 2008. Hurry up and download your copy before Toxcatl is over!
Download here: Aztec calendar 2008
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Whoa, that skeleton guy apparently has a snake penis.
April 4th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Yes, and don’t look now, but it’s actually a female demon…
April 4th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Very useful overall, Jesse. I wish you’d be a bit more specific in the case of Coatlicue. Is the bludgeoning to be with a particular instrument or can one use whatever is at hand–a bit of pipe, a field hockey stick, a big rock?
April 4th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Good question, Jimmy. It’s always safest to consult the priests from your local temple, but in a pinch, any sacred object will do — perhaps a handy obsidian mirror, a ritual cocoa jug, or a rubber ball from the ollamaliztli ballgame (though that one may be a bit of a workout).